“Family relationships can be tricky—especially at this time of year.  Minor issues like who will cook what or when to open gifts can lead to more serious conflict.  For some, deeper issues loom: Whose family will we visit?  Will the kids be with me or my ex?  How do I handle the hostility between family members?”*

These issues large or small, significant or not, can provide us the opportunity to evaluate the quality and value of relationships.  Consider your honest answers to the questions that follow:

• Is the issue that is causing conflict something that is really worth the battle?
• What is the conflict really about?  Perhaps it is just your desire to be in control.
•  Can you express love and concern by choosing to help rather than needing to have your way?
•  Is peace in your family worth the conflict that will follow a certain decision?
•  What other options do you have?

This is a time of year when wisdom and unselfish attitudes should prevail.  Consider the long term implications when making your decision regarding your holiday activities and relationships.  How will those decisions affect your friends and family?

*Quote from www.troubledwith.com

On top of the financial challenge the holiday season brought every year, there was the always awkward thought of how she would arrange getting around to all the family and when the kids would visit their father.

Her car seemed like it was on its last leg, limping around town and not even starting on really cold mornings.  Fighting the crowd at the mall was just such a hassle when all she really wanted was to just be at home after working all day.  And her son was so difficult this time of year!  There was so much to be troubled over, and on top of that she was worried about walking out into the dark parking lot!

Sound familiar?  Maybe this situation does not perfectly describe your holiday season but you can probably relate to it in some way.  What can you do to make this special time of year a blessing instead of a curse?

Start with your attitude about what you can and cannot control.  Do not get anxious about what you cannot control.  Rather, do your best at dealing effectively with the things you can control.  Work well with others, whether they are family, friends, or associates on the job.  Plan ahead, especially in the areas of your personal finances and time management.  Enlist the help of those around you who love you and want to spend time with you.  The holiday season is a great time to build relationships.  Do not allow all the stress and anxiety to rob you of the joy of the season.

Many times in my life I have had to remind myself that my expectations will not always line up with reality.  How I respond to unmet expectations reveal much about my personality and character.  It also reveals much about what I believe about God.

A pastor friend of mine said, “All of us have expectations in life.  We expect things will occur according to our preconceived ideas and plans.   Sometimes things do not happen as we expect, and our response to those unexpected events can determine whether or not we miss out on God’s best for our lives.”

Another friend of mine says that unmet expectations are usually unspoken expectations.  “When our spouse doesn’t come through on something we expect them to naturally come through on, our response is typically anger and withdrawal.  We hold them hostage to the expectation they didn’t meet.  So, as that expectation continues to go unmet we pile up anger, hurt, and resentment toward that person,” he says.

You may need to determine if your expectations go unmet because they are unrealistic.  People will always let you down.  Even your closest friends, your spouse, your parent, will eventually disappoint you in some way.  No one will meet your expectations all the time.

My pastor friend reminds us, “God will never let us down.  He promises to never leave us or forsake us.  He promises to love us and meet our needs.  He hears our prayers.  He loves us absolutely and unconditionally.  But sometimes we confuse what God promises with our expectations of what we would like God to do.”

We do the same with others around us.  Are you holding someone captive in your unmet expectations of them?  Perhaps you need to examine your expectations and decide if they are reasonable and grounded in love for God and others.

Major stress producers are big life events such as your wedding, the death of a family member, divorce, buying or selling a home, and changing jobs.  But it seems like it is the little things that cause us stress on a daily basis.  Things like traffic congestion, impatient children, worrying about your job, or failing to communicate effectively with your spouse.

Here are some signs that you need some assistance managing the stress in your life:

• Difficulty communicating your thoughts
• Difficulty maintaining balance in your life
• Increased use of drugs or alcohol
• Poor work performance
• Headache and stomach problems
• Disorientation and confusion for no apparent reason
• Difficulty concentrating
• Reluctance to leave home
• Depression, sadness, and mood swings
• Feelings of hopelessness
• Difficulty getting out of bed in the morning
• Fear of crowds and strangers
• Overwhelming guilt and self-doubt

Actually the list could go on but you get the idea.  Stress is not something to be embarrassed about.  All of us struggle with it to some degree and there are times when stress becomes a huge issue in our lives.

When you recognize that you are experiencing a great deal of stress in your life you need to act on it.  Stress should not be ignored.  It can negatively affect every area of your life and cause serious problems in your marriage and family, job performance, and other relationships.

Here are some good ways to ease stress in your life:

• Do not worry about things you cannot control.  Realize you are not always in control of whatever is producing the stress
• Take steps to promote your own physical and emotional health by staying active in your daily life patterns or by adjusting them
• Maintain a normal household and daily routine
• Spend time with family and friends in non-stressful situations
• Ask family and friends to help you
• Eat well-balanced and nutritional meals on a regular basis
• See a doctor.  You may be dealing with something other than stress
• Be cautious about taking medication.  It may not necessarily be the best way to deal with your stress
• Depending on God in a relationship that involves regular prayer and study

Nothing eases stress in your life like the presence and power of the Holy Spirit.  Jesus living in your life, directing your ways and decisions gives you freedom and liberty to live out every day with great joy and victory.  If you really want to be on top of the stress in your life then you need only turn to God and his provision!

“Now may the Lord of peace himself give you his peace at all times and in every situation.  The Lord be with you all.” 2 Thessalonians 3:16  NLT

When was the last time you sat down, looked your friend, spouse, or child in the eye and really paid attention to what they had to say?  If you are like most people that doesn’t sound too difficult…until you try to do it.  Most of us believe we are too busy to give that sort of attention on a regular basis.  We want to talk “on the move,” while we are doing other things.  We call it multi-tasking and we excuse our failure to really be attentive by saying, as well as believing, that we are so busy that a constructive use of our time is not really focusing on any one thing or person.  We convince ourselves that we are better time managers when we are communicating on the move, at a shallow depth, and without any kind of real commitment.

I think all that is a cop-out.  Being truly attentive is something most of us just don’t want to do.  We think it requires too much and may end up costing us more than we want to give.  By not paying attention we can keep our distance and move along without any real commitment.  Being attentive scares us to death!  Yet, it is exactly what our relationships need!  “Attentiveness is showing the worth (value) of a person or task by giving your undivided concentration (attention).”

Who can you give your undivided attention today, and by doing so, show them how important they are to you and how much you value your relationship with them?

He continues, “I have come to see reaching out to people as a way to make a difference in people’s lives as well as a way to explore and learn and enrich my own; it has become a conscious construction of my life’s path.”

Ferrazzi encourages us to “connect” with others.  Some people call “networking” what Ferrazzi calls “connecting.”  He invests in others by sharing his knowledge, resources, time and energy, friends and associates, empathy and compassion in an ongoing effort to provide value in his relationships.

Remember, all of life boils down to relationships, ultimately one’s relationship with Jesus Christ.  Ferrazzi is saying that life’s relationships, when characterized by a generous spirit, are more meaningful and valuable to everyone.  Focus on your opportunities to invest in others, whether they are family, friends, neighbors, or work associates.  Develop a generous spirit that characterizes and defines your life.

Webster defines contentment as “happy enough with what one has or is.  Not desiring something more different. The absence of the need to strain and pull to get ahead.  Indifference to position, status, or possession.” The Amplified Version of the Bible defines contentment as “satisfied to the point that one is neither disturbed or disquieted. The product of gratitude.”

Few things affect our lives like a grateful spirit.  We typically have so much more than we actually need that we are blinded by our abundance.  We take our health, freedom, prosperity, and possessions for granted.  And, we are ungrateful.  In a time and place where, in our culture, we have more of everything than the rest of the world, we fail to express a spirit of gratitude to those around us who help us and to God who provides it.

More than likely you are blessed beyond your basic needs.  You probably want more of what you have and definitely more of what you do not have, but fail to recognize that you have so much that money cannot buy.  You have the love and appreciation of others.  You have a family.  You have food, shelter, clothing, and transportation.  You have a job.  Yet you still remain ungrateful!!

John D. Rockefeller, an American industrialist who, in 1870, founded Standard Oil was once asked how much money it would take for him to be really satisfied.  He answered, “Just a little bit more.”   What is it that will truly bring you contentment?

“Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to get along happily whether I have much or little.  I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything.  I have learned the secret of living in every situation whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.  For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need.” Philippians 4:11-13

Will Austin is a friend of mine and he recently shared a part of his daily start-up.  He reviews every morning his “Live For Him” list.  “Reading through this list is the very first thing I do each morning.  It allows me to recalibrate with what really matters,” he said.  He graciously gave me permission to share his LFH list with you.

1. Every second of life is a gift; no matter what I endure…this is the most important thing to remember!
2. Include God in everything I do.
3. Everything is God’s; I am merely a steward of what He allows me to use.
4. Read morning Scriptures with passion, purely searching for truth and wisdom.
5. I can’t….but God can!!!
6. Preserve my words…less talk; never answer before listening
7. Trust in the Lord as though everything depends on Him. Work as though everything depends on me.
8. Take action!!!  Ask three questions: Is the plan in harmony with God’s plan?  Will it work in real life circumstances?  Is my attitude pleasing to God?
9. Make the right decisions by:  Getting facts before answering.  Be open to new ideas.  Make sure I hear all sides of the story before judging.
10. There is great personal victory in controlling my temper!

Will said, “It is amazing how simple and to what perspective things seem to fall when I start my day this way.”  This Live For Him list can get you started every morning in the right way.  Maybe you and God need to come up with your own list.  The point is: Start things the right way everyday by including God in your plans!

In our world today many things compete for influence in our lives.  The culture we live in promotes a “me mentality” where all of life evolves around the individual.  We learn to trust anything that tickles our ears and tells us what we want to hear.  We end up counting on only those things that benefit us at the moment.  Yet what our lives need more than anything is the reliable Word of God.

The Bible is sufficient in our lives.  In contrast to the theories of men, God’s Word is absolutely comprehensive.  The Bible does not change.  Unlike the opinions and wisdom of man, God’s Word is the same today as it was yesterday and will be tomorrow.

Most importantly, the Bible is true.  It is true all of the time.  Proverbs 30:5-6 says, “Every word of God proves true.  He is a shield to all who come to Him for protection.  Do not add to His words or He may rebuke you and expose you as a liar.”

So many issues can impact an employee’s life and performance.  Issues like depression, sudden illness, divorce, job stress, spousal or children issues, financial issues, grief and loss, gambling, pornography and corporate issues just to name a few, can have a huge impact on an employee.  Do you have a list of counselors available for them to connect with? What about Grief Share or Divorce Care groups? What about a list of attorneys who could help them as legal issues arise? Are there children or teen counselor’s lists available? What about gambling or pornography resources? If an employee has a financial crisis, is there a current plan in place to assist the employee that is confidential, effective and impactful? Most valuable asset?  You see, your employees don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care!

Corporate Care, Inc. has been assisting companies with these, and many other issues for almost twenty-five years, because we realize your job is to focus on the core business functions that will bring the most ROI to the bottom line. We have highly-trained, certified, ordained ministers and businessmen who have spent a lifetime caring for people in church and in business, who are ready in a moment’s notice to spring into action when the toughest issues of life arise. We partner with the employers, assisting in formulating these action plans, and extending to your employees the compassionate and impactful care they’ve earned! Isn’t it past time to truly back up the intent of your heart with a PLAN that goes beyond compliance only, to truly caring for your employees? Corporate Care, Inc. is the partner you’ve been missing to implement this critical business plan, and produce a caring culture of loyalty in both directions.